When I was engaged our Premarital Counselors recommended we read The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman and now I can’t recommend it enough.  The book explains and layouts out the 5 love languages: gift giving, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation.  To help you and your significantly identify your love languages take the online love languages quiz.    Naturally, we each love in the way we want to be loved, but honestly, that is not the best practice for a strong marriage because we are different people.  The 5 Love Languages teaches us to speak and love our significant other and loved ones the way “they need to be loved”.  

This is especially important for engaged couples who are planning a wedding and preparing for marriage.    Wedding planning is a very emotional time in your life,  you will encounter each of these love languages among your parents, family, and bridal party.  I have learned that knowing how each person needs to be loved makes this process easier.  Learning what’s really important to each person involved in your wedding lessens the drama and makes the whole process and wedding day memorable for everyone.  I suggest inviting your family and bridal party to take the online love languages quiz. and share their results with you.  This will assist you to plan out special moments for everyone that will last a lifetime.  

To help you plan how you’re going to express your love and appreciation for your fiancé(e), parents, bridal party & guests on your wedding day we breakdown the 5 Love Languages and ways to fit it into your wedding plans. 

Words of Affirmations

Words of affirmation are any spoken or written words that confirm, support, uplift, and empathize with another person in a positive manner. If someone is drawn to words of affirmation as their love language, it’s because they believe words really matter and help them give a voice to how they feel inside.

Words of Affirmations during wedding planning and on wedding day 

• Handwrite your own “Vows” & have them framed after the wedding 
• Show love and gratitude to your parents, fiance, bridal party, special family members with a handwritten note that they can read on your wedding day.
• Ask loved ones and bridal party members to do a speech (make sure to talk to them beforehand so they can prepare)
• Have videographer record special messages from guests at the wedding 
• Video messages from guests at the wedding 
• Give an “Oscar Speech” take a moment to thank your parents, family, friends and all that traveled to celebrate with you. 
• Handwritten thank you for bridal shower and wedding gifts received 

Quality Time 

If this is someone‘s love language, they view time as a priceless gift they want to give and receive in relationships, and although they appreciate expressions of love in other languages, alternate types of affection aren’t considered as meaningful as time together.

Quality Time moments during wedding planning and on your wedding day 

• Plan a girls or guys night out so that your bridal party can get to know each other 
• Include your mother-in-law in your bridal gown shopping 
• Invite your mother-in-law to go bridal gown shopping with you 
• Host a meet & greet the day before the wedding and invite all out of town guest 
• Host a farewell brunch 
• Have a first look with your father and other special members of your family
• Consider a “First Look” – it will give you the opportunity to have a private moment and connect with each other before the wedding starts.  
• Livestream your wedding for guests who can not be present on your wedding day. 

Acts of Service 

For people whose love language is Acts of Service, “actions speak louder than words”.  They appreciate and feel your love towards them when you go above and beyond to help them.  Anything that can make your partner feel appreciated or that can help make wedding planning easier will go a long way.   Look for small acts that can create some big responses from your partner.  

Acts of Service in wedding planning and on wedding day 

• Delegate pre and wedding day task to loved ones and bridal party members (choose wisely) 
• Complete a task on the list that is stressing your significant other
• Pick up food for the bridal party on wedding day 
• Host Bridal Shower, Rehearsal Dinner or Bridal Luncheon 
• Collect all personal items post reception 
• Beauty touch-ups throughout the day 
• Make sure that the couple eats and stays hydrated throughout the day 
• Organizing family for photos 

Gift Giving 

Of all the love languages, the act of gift-giving is the most often misconstrued. To some, it can seem materialistic or as if the recipient is fixated on things versus love itself. That’s not the case. Oftentimes receiving a gift is a physical reminder that they are loved. Gifts come in all shapes and sizes.  They can be bought, made, or inherited.  

Gift Giving  in wedding planning and on wedding day 

• Wedding Registry – don’t be afraid to ask for what you need for your new home or honeymoon
• For your fiancé(e) pay attention to needs and/or wants for life and the wedding, especially throughout the wedding planning journey.  On wedding day – is another time to surprise your beloved with a little gift (jewelry, cufflinks, socks, flowers, watch, etc).  Make the gift personal and don’t forget the handwritten note.
• Welcome Bags for out of town guests with your local favorite finds and a sweet welcome note from you both
• Wedding favors that reflect your personalities (city the wedding is hosted, favorite snack).  Make sure that favors are useful or edible 
• Usually, couples gift their Bridal Party with items that they can use on the wedding day (jewelry, cufflinks, etc.).   Those are great, but to take it a step further personalize a gift for each of them.  Find something that is unique to your relationship with them. This will go a long way. 
• On your wedding day don’t forget your Parents or Grandparents – honor them with a gift of appreciation (frame to place your wedding photo with them or embroidered handkerchief) present with a handwritten note. 

Physical Touch 

Physical touch is one of the easiest ways to be intimate with your partner and even though it is physical, it can create emotional intimacy and bonding love. One of the benefits to being in a relationship with someone whose love language is physical touch— you can express love without having to speak, without having to do the dishes or buy a gift. Physical touch is one of the easiest ways to be intimate with your partner and even though it is physical, it can create emotional intimacy.    Back rubs are a nice gesture to relax your partner as well as communicate that you love them in their own language.

Physical Touch in wedding planning and on wedding day 

• Be intentional with plans to stay connected throughout the planning process – Grab your fiance(e) and take a long walk while holding – while holding hands. 
• Plan for a “First Look” – this gives you an intimate moment to be physically present before the ceremony to speak to each other, admire your look, hug, hold hands and kiss. 
• During your ceremony make sure to hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.  
• On wedding day you will give and receive lots of Hugs & Kisses. 
• Take any moment throughout the reception to hold hands, hug and kiss.  This is your day show the world your love. 

Your wedding is “YOUR” wedding! It is a reflection of you as a couple and your LOVE.  Take a moment to plan out how you are going to show LOVE to each other, your family, bridal party, and guests.   

 Happy Planning!

Need assistant planning or managing your wedding day we offer Full Planning, Day-Of Wedding Coordination, and Small Wedding Planning services.  Contact us for your complimentary consultation.

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